fainting--a detailed anatomy

i was running today, had been for about fifteen minutes, when i had to stop on a street median to wait for a horde of cars to clear.

suddenly i felt a cool, fleeing sensation in my temples, behind my eyes, like sand falling through an hourglass. i grasped the signpole beside me and bent over, and tried not to think about throwing up. the sand continued to fall down my neck, through my shoulders and back, and as it fell everything seemed to weigh far too much for me to support. i closed my eyes, i think--or maybe everything went black without my permission. either way, it seemed right to me; i thought, "i'll just kneel on the ground...that sounds like a good idea." i held onto the pole to steady myself, because i was obeying the impulse rather faster than seemed prudent. but it didn't matter. i've been very tired all day and had taken a couple of naps earlier; both times it felt so good to succumb, to bend my head into the swallow of sleep. that's what i thought of as my back caved toward the pavement and my knees flopped over. i also thought of how silly it must look to anyone watching--just laying myself down to take a nap in the median of the street. but they didn't know how much i needed it. the music from my iPod was clamoring in my ears but it didn't bother me; everything was so relaxed.

suddenly i woke up and thought, "before i take a nap, i should turn off my iPod so i don't waste all the batteries." that thought was shortly followed by another--"this is absurd. i can't take a nap here. lord, i hope no one sees me." still, i didn't want to get up, but i knew i ought to or somebody would worry. so i jacknifed myself upright and immediately felt again like i might throw up. the sand began again to fall from the back of my head.

i propped my back against the signpole and ducked my head toward my knees, feeling very surly that i had to wake up. i turned off the iPod. i sat there for several moments and looked up unwillingly toward the gas station that faced me on one side, and the little row of shops on the other side. people were moving about in both parking lots; no one was looking toward me. no one. i was a little bit outraged and a little bit relieved. relieved that no one had seen me taking a nap in the midsection of the street, outraged that no one was rushing to my aid--no one handsome and capable, not even anyone ugly or ineffectual. disappointing.

"and now," i thought grimly, once i got myself up off the ground and headed toward home, "i can't run today."
my body was shortly flushed with sweat. no one mentions that as being part of the fainting package, either.

since it happened, regrettable though it was, i felt it was my civic duty to report that fainting, as an experience, is killingly unromantic. if you're in the market for a handsome stranger, there are more reliable ways to meet one.